Chronic Stress has Hijacked Your Mind and Body - Here’s How to Take it Back
In my last post, Work-Life Balance Is an Illusion, I talked about why the pressure to “have it all” is setting us up for failure. The truth is, we aren’t just struggling with time management—we’re battling a deeper, more insidious problem: chronic stress. And it’s not just making us tired; it’s literally taking over our brains.
If you’ve ever felt like your mind is constantly ping-ponging, like you can’t think straight or make decisions the way you used to, you’re not imagining it. Chronic stress hijacks your brain, making it harder to focus, plan, and regulate your emotions. But the good news? Once you understand how this works, you can start to take back control.
The Brain Science Behind Stress
Stress is the body’s response to a challenge. It exists for a reason—our ancestors relied on it to survive life-threatening situations. You’ve likely heard of the “fight or flight” response (and there are actually two additional reactions - “freeze,” to avoid being noticed, and “fawn,” to subdue to the threat).
So, how does this play out in your brain? Let’s break it down with a scenario.
The Bear Attack Test
Imagine you’re camping, about to turn in for the night. Suddenly, you hear rustling. You look up—it’s a bear, staring right at you.
At that moment, three key parts of your brain take over:
Reticular Activating System (RAS) – The brain’s alertness center. She senses the bear and sounds the alarm: Threat detected!
Amygdala – The emotional center of your brain. The amygdala kicks in next, flooding your system with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Your heart pounds. Your breath quickens. Your body prepares for survival.
Prefrontal Cortex – The rational thinker who helps you make decisions. She evaluates the threat and decides: Fight? Run? Freeze in place? Play dead? The prefrontal cortex sees that it’s a black bear, and remembers that fighting back is the best survival strategy.
You swing your arms, yell, and throw whatever you can find. The bear backs off. Your stress response subsides, and your body returns to normal.
This is how stress is supposed to work: A short burst of activation followed by recovery.
But here’s the problem. In today’s world, we’re not facing bears—we’re facing emails, deadlines, childcare, aging parents, financial pressures, and never-ending to-do lists. And our brains? Don’t know the difference.
Chronic Stress Is an Invisible Hijacker
Your brain treats every modern-day stressor as a potential bear attack.
RAS rings the alarm constantly: “Threats incoming!”
The amygdala floods your body with stress hormones: You feel overwhelmed, anxious, and reactive.
The prefrontal cortex struggles to keep up: She can’t think clearly, follows the amygdala’s lead, resulting in impulsive reactions (like snapping at a loved one, road rage, or rage-quitting your job).
Over time, this cycle damages the prefrontal cortex, making it harder to focus, plan, and regulate emotions. This is known as an “amygdala hijack”—when emotional responses take over before rational thinking can catch up.
And it doesn’t just affect your brain. Chronic stress has been linked to heart disease and immune dysfunction.
Even if you’re not snapping or lashing out, chronic stress can still dictate your actions through the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses:
Fight – Overworking, taking on extra responsibilities even when overwhelmed, obsessively perfecting tasks, or pushing yourself beyond healthy limits.
Flight – Procrastinating, avoiding challenging tasks, job-hopping, or withdrawing from colleagues and friends.
Freeze – Doom-scrolling, zoning out in the middle of work, feeling paralyzed to speak up, or shutting down under pressure.
Fawn – People-pleasing, constantly saying “yes” to avoid conflict, needing external validation to feel secure, or prioritizing others’ needs over your own at all costs.
These behaviors aren’t personal failings—they are your brain’s survival mechanisms misfiring in response to chronic, non-stop stress. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep repeating these patterns, now you know: Your brain is trying to protect you, even when the threat isn’t real.
The Science Proves It
✔ Long work hours shrink cognitive ability – The Whitehall II study followed over 2,000 workers in Great Britain for five years. Those who worked more than 55 hours per week showed significantly lower cognitive function, including reduced memory, problem-solving, and creativity. If you feel mentally foggy, this is why.
✔ Chronic stress makes the amygdala stronger and the prefrontal cortex weaker – Studies show prolonged stress physically enlarges the amygdala while shrinking the prefrontal cortex, making emotional hijacks more frequent and harder to control.
✔ Stress affects women differently than men – Research shows anxiety disorders are more prevalent in women than men, and women are more prone to sadness and anxiety from chronic stress.
Women Need Each Other
One of the most fascinating discoveries about stress comes from a landmark UCLA study that looked at stress responses specifically in women.
While most stress research has focused on men, this study found that women have a unique reaction: the “tend and befriend” response. Instead of just fight-or-flight, women instinctively seek out other women for support. This is due to the release of oxytocin, a hormone that buffers stress and promotes bonding. Estrogen enhances this effect.
This explains why, when something stressful happens, your first instinct might be to call a friend. The problem? Chronic stress can shut down this instinct, leading to isolation instead of connection.
Chronic Stress Rewires Your Beliefs Too
Remember the RAS, your brain’s alert center? She’s also your brain’s traffic cop for information. Her job is to decide what information is important enough to reach your conscious mind. The more you focus on something—whether it’s a belief, a worry, or a message you’ve been told—the more your RAS strengthens those neural connections.
This is how conditioned beliefs form. Your brain is literally wiring itself based on repeated thoughts and experiences. This process, called neuroplasticity, explains why certain beliefs feel so deeply ingrained.
Your brain absorbs the messages you’ve heard since childhood from your family, teachers, peers, bosses, media, society at large. If you’ve spent years hearing messages like:
“Success means working harder than everyone else.”
“Women should be selfless caregivers.”
“If I say no, I let people down”
“I have to do it all”
”Speaking up is too aggressive”
Your brain starts prioritizing these messages as truth. These are not truths. They are conditioning, reinforced by stress and repetition.
Think about America Ferrera’s big monologue in the Barbie movie that went viral. That moment resonated because it named the impossible expectations women have internalized. But here’s the good news: Conditioned beliefs can be unlearned.
How to Rewire Your Brain and Reclaim Your Power
The brain is malleable. With intention and practice, you can reshape the way it reacts to stress, and reclaim your power to serve your needs. Here’s how:
1. Interrupt the Autopilot Response
Your first goal is to stop the automatic emotional reaction. Do whatever works for you to pump the brakes on your autopilot, impulsive reactions. Visualize yourself putting a literal wrench in the brain mechanics, do deep breathing, meditate, journal, whatever it takes to make your brain take a beat.
2. Challenge and Replace Limiting Beliefs
When a conditioned belief surfaces, flip it:
Limiting belief: “I can’t do this because I don’t have enough experience.”
New belief: “I have learned new skills before—I can learn this too.”
3. Dream & Do
Now, put that re-energized prefrontal cortex back to work. All the skills and talents you’ve used to meet everyone’s expectations? It’s time to use them for yourself.
4. Wash, Rinse & Repeat
Rewiring your brain takes time, but I promise you, with practice it gets easier. Just ask the monks! Tibetan monks who have spent years meditating have done it. Scientists put them in fMRI machines and found that their brains were lit up like a Christmas tree in areas linked to focus, emotional regulation, and cognitive efficiency.
Moral of the story? Small, daily shifts in your thinking can have a massive impact over time. It’s not about doing more—it’s about changing how you process what’s already there to build resilience so life feels like living, not just surviving.
Ready to Reclaim Your Mind?
If this resonates with you, let’s talk. Book a free coaching session with me, and I can support your work to rewire the beliefs that no longer serve you—so you can step into your power with clarity, confidence, and purpose.
Click here to book your free session.
